Omg, randomly clicked on the "other" tab under messages on Facebook and found a ton of unread messages from people whom I haven't added as friends. Some from months ago, one from 4 years ago. Now I must seem really unfriendly :|

I used to be able to sit in a library and read books for hours. Literally hours. Just reading and reading non stop. No food breaks, no stretching breaks, just the occasional toilet breaks. I loved how I felt then, for during those hours it truly seemed like I was living in the fictional worlds of the books. The disappointing real world doesn't exist. The sad thing is I don't think I can do it now, because my attention span is getting shorter and shorter. Whenever I see pictures of beautiful libraries on tumblr, I wonder how it's like to spend hours reading in them but I realised I would probably have an urge to check my phone every once in awhile. This spoils the experience. How I wish I can be like before, easily immerse myself into books.

Technology ruined my mind :(





Here's one of those beautiful libraries I am talking about by the way:

National Library of the Czech Republic, Prague, Czech Republic (photo by Raphael Neff)

Hastily threw together a portfolio for the internship interview tomorrow. With that portfolio and my lousy mandarin speaking skills, I think I am bringing a penknife to war. I wouldn't even call what I did a portfolio, it's more like a few certs and a cover page. Let's hope they don't ask me for it.

This is like my third interview within a month. Did so many interviews I even dreamt of it during my nap just now. My interview's at 2:30 pm tomorrow, I dreamt that I was still putting together my portfolio at home until 2:30pm, then someone from the company suddenly called and told me impatiently that I can postpone my interview if I am still not done with my portfolio. And in my dream I had a strong feeling I won't pass my interview cos of the portfolio thing. I hate interviews. Interviews shouldn't exist. Employers should assess potential employees by getting them to work in the company for three days. Isn't this more effective? That's what I think anyway.

I want to watch Princess Hours but there isn't a video out there that is high quality enough. Sigh. I used to watch and re-watch it over and over again like 5-6 years ago. Watching for nostalgia's sake now. But I've got a feeling I won't find it as nice as before. Anw I suddenly remembered a customer told me at work a few months ago that I look like Yoon Eun Hye. Hahahahahahaha. I think the lighting at my workplace was too dim. Made my night though ^^

There is a fire in your heart now. It is burning for some goal that you have put off for far too long. You probably have a lot of other more demanding obligations. You may be working so hard that you are exhausted at the end of the day. And you may be short on the resources that would make it easier to pursue this dream. However, you can get by with what you have if you make your dream a driving mission in your life. It make take a sacrifice or two, and you may exhaust yourself even further. But ultimately, dear Moonchild, the reward will exceed your greatest expectations.

Ah DailyHoroscope always seems to know me well. Why are you always so encouraging! Do I sound like a crazed, horoscope believing teenage girl? HAHA. The crazed part is true, I am going crazy from PT individual report. Hardest report I've ever had to do in my life. I usually like writing reports but this time... Save me mommy, I don't want to do it anymore...

Jonghyun

Whoa. All along I was neutral to Jonghyun (I don't dislike him, but I don't like him either) but hearing his voice in this song changed my mind. His part at around 0:16-0:22 in JoJo was FWOAHHH... (Sorry I can't think of a better adjective right now hahahahaha) Listen to it with earphones! I like his "BABYYYYY" part somewhere in the middle too, though that was obviously autotuned like hell. But meh, autotune still sounds good when used at the right parts. 

I like people with nice voices. Hearing them sing or speak makes me feel like I'm floating on clouds.

Who else is interested in floating too? Listen to Smile by Kyuhyun. That was the song that made me like him too. That's the ultimate float song let me tell you. ULTIMATE.

Euaaarggghh I keep zoning out during driving today. Today really isn't my day, usually I don't meet any obstacles on the road but there were at least 8 today. It seems like every few metres I drive there will be a truck cutting across or a parked vehicle. And I kept noticing these obstacles only at the last minute, which resulted in me stopping too close and my instructor to go "no good, too close, no safety!" every few minutes. And the more I drove the more stoned I got. Driving lessons are boring.

While doing my business in the washroom I will sometimes think deep thoughts on life and the reason for my existence. For example, on my most recent trip I thought about whether I am a year 2 student or a year 3 student (because I honestly forgot for a moment). I was trying to remember if I am in year 2 or year 3 and it's only after about 10 seconds am I convinced I am definitely in year 3. Which I felt was unbelievable. Only old people are in year 3! And thus I concluded that time indeed flies. Deep.

I was just thinking, hamsters and rabbits are great pets, but it would be nice to have pets that can actually produce some sort of sound. You know, to indicate how they are feeling, or at least to indicate that they are alive. So that would be cats or dogs.
But while cats and dogs are great too, it would be even better if there are pets which can talk to you and tell you how they are feeling. Then I realised there ARE pets like these.
.
.
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BABIES.
(technically not babies since they can't speak intelligibly, so maybe toddlers)

My mom's a pet owner!

I think I would feel weird if I ever got married. All my life I have just been myself, a single entity, but if I am married I will be half of a whole instead. I won't be just Rachel Tan anymore. I will be Rachel ___, who is married to _____. Or even weirder, Rachel ____,  who is the mother of ____ and _____. When you get married you are not just one person anymore, you will always be associated with someone else, whether you like it or not. But I guess most people who are married like it, since they are being associated to someone they love. I don't think I will ever end up getting married though. For most of my life I was convinced I will be married someday, but now I think one or two decades isn't really enough time for me to find someone I like enough to spend the rest of my life with. People shouldn't get married to me anyway, for their own good. My temper isn't the best and I turn violent when angered. I might just end up being one of those psychos who kill their spouses and cook them to eat or something.