I am in Shanghai! Life here isn't as exciting or as fun as I imagined. But it's alright I guess. Though I still miss home terribly.

Went to look at my Facebook activity from year 2007 and wtf! My statuses then were all damn embarrassing. 

They all go something like, "Rachel Tan is is sad coz she cant make it to the class chalet. :'(" , "Rachel Tan is confused", "Rachel Tan is tired". 

OMG. Was it a trend to speak in third person on Facebook last time?

And this is my very first photo on Facebook. 

Can you spot me? HAHA
I miss being 14!

Shit la really need to lose weight this time. Ate too much during the exam period and now my face and calves are swollen. Didn't even realise that until I saw pictures of myself. Gross.

Anyway, TODAY MARKS THE LAST DAY I AM TAKING EXAMS IN NGEE ANN!!!! NO MORE EXAMS EVER!!!! JUST THIS COMING INTERNSHIP SEM TO GO BEFORE I GRADUATE WOOHOOOOOOOOOOO

Yesterday's pretty significant. First time in seven years. Strange feeling.

Forgot to note this down, I got my conch piercing on 7 August! I've always wanted it, and now I've gotten it.  It's my first needle piercing and it didn't really hurt much, surprisingly. Just for one sec when the needle went through and when the piercer tried to put the stud through the hole. But now it's slightly sore at the area, and I can't sleep on my right side again, like the other time I did my helix. Every time I accidentally budge it when tying my hair or something it will hurt though. The only plus side is that the conch is closer to my head and doesn't really get bumped around so much like the helix, so the chances of it hurting from accidental contact is less. Anyway, who cares, I got my conch pierced! :D

Read some of my previous posts and I realised I sound too chirpy. Eww. I literally cringed while reading. Some posts are simply exclamation mark overload. Reading my own journal entries are too embarrassing. I still couldn't even bring myself to read my primary school journals, I think I will only read them and this blog when I turn 70 or something.

The other day I suddenly had a thought; is my personality now my true personality? Was I born with this personality, or did it change and morph over the years to become how it is now? Can personalities even be changed? Or did I, along the way, started to pretend to be someone different from my original self and eventually I got so good at pretending that I don't even know if how I am like right now is really me? This is quite scary. Are having thoughts like these what they call an identity crisis?

I don't think I have mentioned this before, but my flight to Shanghai is confirmed for 30 Aug. Or have I? Anyway, the thing is it's just 24 days away (less than a month!) but I can't really feel it yet. Know what I mean? I'm going for five months! I've never been away from home for so long before. But that fact hasn't sunk in yet. Weird. Usually even if it's a five days trip I would get excited early but now.. THERE IS NO FEELING. I think my brain is just too overcrowded with thoughts of exams. Seriously, now that projects are over we are diving straight into exams. STRESS! But it's the last (ever) academic semester anyway, and there are so much to look forward to after this sem ends, so.. LET'S GO!


I'm going to be a curatorial intern in Shanghai Ocean Aquarium by the way! Curatorial work wasn't my first choice but now I am getting pretty excited for it. I heard it's going to be mostly desk bound though. And full of research work. :| But still, the word "curatorial" sounds intriguing. I'm going to start telling everyone I'm doing curatorial work and when they ask "what's that?" I'm not going to explain. Then they can stare at my back in bewilderment and wonder as I turn my curatorial intern self away from their mystified faces. HAHA. Sorry, human thoughts get strange at strange hours.

So hungry right now watching the people in Running Man eating lobsters and crabs. Ah.. this is torture. I want steak. Some nice, juicy steak. On a hotplate with a baked potato and lots of bacon bits on the side. I am making myself hungrier. I could have made something to eat for myself but I don't even have a kitchen now. I just want some scrambled eggs! I haven't had scrambled eggs for so long! But I have no stove. And no kitchen. And I am lazy to plug in my microwave, which is buried under a pile of stuff anyway. Renovating the kitchen is so much trouble. Actually I do have a stove but it's in its box. New, nicely wrapped up and useless. Come to think of it I think I haven't had eggs in over a week. WooooOOOww. I don't think I have ever gone without eggs for so long. Maybe now my farts won't smell. Hahahahaha

FYP presentation is over!
Today everyone seems slightly emotional, especially towards the end. I've always wanted this semester to be over as soon as possible but just now I suddenly felt like I don't want life in Ngee Ann to ever end. 


Anyway I find it cute how every lecturer just now is so protective of his/her own tutorial class. HAHA. Love the TRM lecturers, most are pretty caring. But still, Mr Loh's the best! :D

Sometimes I'll suddenly stop and think, why am I doing all these? It's not even what I want to do. What am I putting myself through all the stress for? All these isn't even necessary. But I made the decision, so I can't blame anyone but myself. It's all too late now. Lost time, lost opportunities. But nothing's impossible right? 

Every time I think of the upcoming boardroom presentation I want to vomit. And the FYP presentation. And RMTR presentation. And Japanese Speaking Test. Why is everything happening next week? One on tues, one on wed, and two on thurs. Plus the mock FYP presentation tmr. Thank god WISP and MQE is over. Can't wait for Friday seriously. No, I can't wait for internship. Five months in Shanghai away from all these shit. 


P.S And the new kitchen! My kitchen's renovating now, hopefully I can get to see AND enjoy the end result before I leave. I'm not putting up with all the inconvenience (showering with icy cold water everyday anyone?) and dust for nothing! I MUST SEE IT. Ah but the tiler's slow like a slowpoke. I want to see the cabinets being built but gotta wait for the tiler to finish tiling first. Meh

Next Week
Wednesday - FYP Presentation
Thursday - Bcomm Boardroom Presentation + Japanese Speaking Test

Not really prepared for any yet. :S

I AM SO BUSY I WANNA DIE. STRESSED. REALLY STRESSED. SO BUSY THAT I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING ANYTHING.

I feel like climbing something. There was once I was at my mom's friend's house when I was about 10, and there was a bunk bed. I wanted to try jumping down from the upper bunk so I climbed up and even tried to influence the other kids (there were about 4-5 kids who were my age there) to jump with me. In the end no one really wanted to so I jumped down myself as a demo (LOL) and ended up damaging the owner's ironing board (cuz I somehow managed to hit it on the way down). Whoa. Got scolded big time. The owner even had to throw away the ironing board. So damn embarrassing.
I recently reminded my mom about this incident and I realised all along she thought I fell down accidentally, not jumped on purpose. HAHAHA.

I turn nineteen today! This year's my last teenage year and it's slightly saddening. Teenage years are probably the best - you are at your healthiest, you are still sort of considered a child so you may still get babied (from time to time), no work stress, you get to enjoy some privileges of being and adult AND some privileges of being a kid and etc. Haha. Anyway I remembered I was most excited about turning 10 and 13 in the past. 10 because it was the first year I had a "double digit age" and 13 because it was obviously my first teen year. I can't believe those ages are 9 and 6 years ago now. Now that I think of it, I think I liked my 10th year the best. School was a breeze, I get to go out every weekend without homework worries because I usually get everything done by Friday night, I was really close to my cousin then because I was still going to my aunt's house everyday and I liked my class and form teacher.

They say the twenties go by really fast. I hope it isn't true. Ahh anyway 19 is a cool age I think. I shall insist on being 19 till next July 16.

You know those ads on random websites, telling you you're the 100 millionth visitor and won 100,000 bucks or something? I really wonder why they keep on doing that. I don't think anyone these days will get scammed by such ads any more, and it costs money to keep those ads running. Do they actually gain from it?

OHHHHH I'm so stupid I just realized how it works after I finished typing the sentence above. I think clicking on the ad will  bring you to another ad, which advertises a real product or service. I think. So the people who placed the "100 millionth visitor" ad earns money from the people who are advertising the real products. But then again why can't those companies get ads themselves? Why must they piggyback on those "100 millionth visitor" ads? Or do they think those ads work better? Or maybe my theory is wrong?

Actually I realized I can just click it to find out what happens but I don't feel like giving them the sense of satisfaction from tricking another person. I can imagine them tracking my IP address to a picture of my face and going "Ha! This is another stupid one!". Anyway my theory is probably correct. It must be. Okay I shall end this here. Useless post.

I cut my hair last Saturday. I wanted to grow out my fringe but I failed again. My resolve is always strong at the beginning, but after my fringe grows to about half my face, I'll start to contemplate cutting off that disgustingly misshapen thing. And I always do cut it off in the end. :\ I guess I will never ever get to have nice, fringeless hair.

Anyway my internship is confirmed! I'll be having my internship at Straco in Shanghai for 5 months. Whopeeeeeeeeeeeee

Every time I see somebody driving in the drama I want to smash my laptop screen. URGHHHHHHHH. Angst.

Today's the first time I faked sick and went to get a MC. Do I sound like a good student? Hahaha. I lied that I had a headache but I felt really self conscious and obvious, like I was doing something wrong. LOL. The doctor asked all the necessary questions, did all the necessary checks but I have a feeling the she didn't really buy it though.

Anyway I failed my TP today too. Warm up was fine, but during the test itself... STRIKE ALL THE KERBS! 
Seriously, this is the first time I struck kerb so many times. Usually I would just strike once or twice once in awhile. Embarrassing max. I don't even dare to look at the tester, though he was really nice. Every time I stuck a kerb my heart sank. I think it sank a hundred times today, it's now at the bottom of my feet. The more kerbs I struck, the more panicky I got, and the more panicky I got, the more kerbs I struck. Vicious cycle.

Top 10 things I hate in this world:
1. Kerbs
2. Kerbs
3. Kerbs
4. S Course
5. Kerbs
6. Kerbs
7. Parking
8. Nissan Sunny
9. Kerbs
10. THOSE DAMNED KERBS!!!!!!!

Meh now I know how failing a driving test feels like. If you have never failed it before, well it feels really demoralising. More demoralising than I thought it would be. I even skipped Jap class (I've never skipped it EVER in these two years), and binged on comfort food. Had a chocolate waffle and a McSpicy meal. Ahh the sugar, the fried chicken, the carbs and the coke made me feel better. Love you all~

Once piece of good news though is that I got into Straco Shanghai for my internship. Whoopee, off to Shanghai for 5 months. :)

Today's the first time I heard my dad's voice in 7 years. Don't know whether to feel happy or sad.

Sometimes I really wish I kept in contact with old friends. Kinda sad how I used to really enjoy their company and now we don't talk anymore. Maybe I should start being less antisocial and make new friends instead of thinking about old ones. But making new friends is so hard! Building lasting relationships take too much effort. I think I rather stay home and sleep.

Just finished reading Dan Brown's Digital Fortress (first published in 1998) and I found it funny how the characters were using pagers. The book is good, but reading it seems to bring me back to the nineties. Not necessarily a bad thing though. Actually besides the pagers there was nothing else to indicate the book was written 14 years ago, but one mention of pagers and my impression of the book immediately changed. Suddenly I can't help imagining the characters in nineties clothing, watching tv programmes on huge CRT televisions, surfing the net with dial up modems.. and you get the idea lol. 

Now I am re-watching Princess Hours (2006) and I noticed the characters were using those lousy (but used to be uber cool) flip phones with the ultra tiny screens, and even portable CD players. HAHA. I miss the days of infrared and bluetooth! Ah so nostalgic. HAHAHA.

Omg, randomly clicked on the "other" tab under messages on Facebook and found a ton of unread messages from people whom I haven't added as friends. Some from months ago, one from 4 years ago. Now I must seem really unfriendly :|

I used to be able to sit in a library and read books for hours. Literally hours. Just reading and reading non stop. No food breaks, no stretching breaks, just the occasional toilet breaks. I loved how I felt then, for during those hours it truly seemed like I was living in the fictional worlds of the books. The disappointing real world doesn't exist. The sad thing is I don't think I can do it now, because my attention span is getting shorter and shorter. Whenever I see pictures of beautiful libraries on tumblr, I wonder how it's like to spend hours reading in them but I realised I would probably have an urge to check my phone every once in awhile. This spoils the experience. How I wish I can be like before, easily immerse myself into books.

Technology ruined my mind :(





Here's one of those beautiful libraries I am talking about by the way:

National Library of the Czech Republic, Prague, Czech Republic (photo by Raphael Neff)

Hastily threw together a portfolio for the internship interview tomorrow. With that portfolio and my lousy mandarin speaking skills, I think I am bringing a penknife to war. I wouldn't even call what I did a portfolio, it's more like a few certs and a cover page. Let's hope they don't ask me for it.

This is like my third interview within a month. Did so many interviews I even dreamt of it during my nap just now. My interview's at 2:30 pm tomorrow, I dreamt that I was still putting together my portfolio at home until 2:30pm, then someone from the company suddenly called and told me impatiently that I can postpone my interview if I am still not done with my portfolio. And in my dream I had a strong feeling I won't pass my interview cos of the portfolio thing. I hate interviews. Interviews shouldn't exist. Employers should assess potential employees by getting them to work in the company for three days. Isn't this more effective? That's what I think anyway.

I want to watch Princess Hours but there isn't a video out there that is high quality enough. Sigh. I used to watch and re-watch it over and over again like 5-6 years ago. Watching for nostalgia's sake now. But I've got a feeling I won't find it as nice as before. Anw I suddenly remembered a customer told me at work a few months ago that I look like Yoon Eun Hye. Hahahahahahaha. I think the lighting at my workplace was too dim. Made my night though ^^

There is a fire in your heart now. It is burning for some goal that you have put off for far too long. You probably have a lot of other more demanding obligations. You may be working so hard that you are exhausted at the end of the day. And you may be short on the resources that would make it easier to pursue this dream. However, you can get by with what you have if you make your dream a driving mission in your life. It make take a sacrifice or two, and you may exhaust yourself even further. But ultimately, dear Moonchild, the reward will exceed your greatest expectations.

Ah DailyHoroscope always seems to know me well. Why are you always so encouraging! Do I sound like a crazed, horoscope believing teenage girl? HAHA. The crazed part is true, I am going crazy from PT individual report. Hardest report I've ever had to do in my life. I usually like writing reports but this time... Save me mommy, I don't want to do it anymore...

Jonghyun

Whoa. All along I was neutral to Jonghyun (I don't dislike him, but I don't like him either) but hearing his voice in this song changed my mind. His part at around 0:16-0:22 in JoJo was FWOAHHH... (Sorry I can't think of a better adjective right now hahahahaha) Listen to it with earphones! I like his "BABYYYYY" part somewhere in the middle too, though that was obviously autotuned like hell. But meh, autotune still sounds good when used at the right parts. 

I like people with nice voices. Hearing them sing or speak makes me feel like I'm floating on clouds.

Who else is interested in floating too? Listen to Smile by Kyuhyun. That was the song that made me like him too. That's the ultimate float song let me tell you. ULTIMATE.

Euaaarggghh I keep zoning out during driving today. Today really isn't my day, usually I don't meet any obstacles on the road but there were at least 8 today. It seems like every few metres I drive there will be a truck cutting across or a parked vehicle. And I kept noticing these obstacles only at the last minute, which resulted in me stopping too close and my instructor to go "no good, too close, no safety!" every few minutes. And the more I drove the more stoned I got. Driving lessons are boring.

While doing my business in the washroom I will sometimes think deep thoughts on life and the reason for my existence. For example, on my most recent trip I thought about whether I am a year 2 student or a year 3 student (because I honestly forgot for a moment). I was trying to remember if I am in year 2 or year 3 and it's only after about 10 seconds am I convinced I am definitely in year 3. Which I felt was unbelievable. Only old people are in year 3! And thus I concluded that time indeed flies. Deep.

I was just thinking, hamsters and rabbits are great pets, but it would be nice to have pets that can actually produce some sort of sound. You know, to indicate how they are feeling, or at least to indicate that they are alive. So that would be cats or dogs.
But while cats and dogs are great too, it would be even better if there are pets which can talk to you and tell you how they are feeling. Then I realised there ARE pets like these.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
BABIES.
(technically not babies since they can't speak intelligibly, so maybe toddlers)

My mom's a pet owner!

I think I would feel weird if I ever got married. All my life I have just been myself, a single entity, but if I am married I will be half of a whole instead. I won't be just Rachel Tan anymore. I will be Rachel ___, who is married to _____. Or even weirder, Rachel ____,  who is the mother of ____ and _____. When you get married you are not just one person anymore, you will always be associated with someone else, whether you like it or not. But I guess most people who are married like it, since they are being associated to someone they love. I don't think I will ever end up getting married though. For most of my life I was convinced I will be married someday, but now I think one or two decades isn't really enough time for me to find someone I like enough to spend the rest of my life with. People shouldn't get married to me anyway, for their own good. My temper isn't the best and I turn violent when angered. I might just end up being one of those psychos who kill their spouses and cook them to eat or something.

I have a new ambition now. I have new ambitions almost everyday but I think this is the real thing. My ambition is simple, I am just going to earn as much money as I can until I save $200,000, so that I can travel to space. Ta-da! Time to start earning some money! Assuming I earn $2500 a month for the rest of my life (which I definitely hope not but I am not going to think too highly of myself just yet), I will take 80 months to earn $200,000. 80 months is 6.67 years. No prob! I can do it!

Wait for me I am coming!

Suddenly thought of my O levels study break period. Didn't have to go to school, so everyday morning to night I have to stay home to study. I remember stocking up on chocolate chip cookies (I always get that one brand only, and it wasn't even that nice lol. Now I feel like buying it again just for nostalgia's sake) and candles* to accompany me while studying, and sneakily watching dramas while my mum was not at home. Can't wait for that period to end at that time but now I wish I could go back again. Somehow studying for O levels wasn't THAT stressful now that I think about it. After all it's just like revising for the hundredth time what I've studied over the past two years. I think. Or maybe I just forgot the stressful parts and only remembered the parts where I ate cookies and watched dramas.


*There was one weird period in my life I had to have scented candles burning beside me while I study. I think it's because I didn't yet have the (bad) habit of switching on my computer while studying then, and my phone didn't have a 3G plan either. So the candles provided an alternative form of distraction. Every time I got bored I will dip the ends of my pens into the hot melted wax to coat them with the wax. Then remove the hardened wax carefully from the pens so I get "moulded" wax I made myself. Made me feel like an artist. Or I'll tear bits of paper to burn them. Once I tried burning a strand of my hair but OMGAHHHHHH the smell is ...... Never tried it again.

Finally found a site that has a movie I wanted to watch but it's dubbed in German. Kill me now

Was just thinking about what kind of books I like to read. When I was younger I think I read almost exclusively adventure and fantasy. But then again children's books usually seem to be of these two genres only. Suddenly remembered I was really into the outerspace when I was in primary school so I kept borrowing books on the universe and stuff. And I will read and re-read the same few pages about the solar system over and over again in the one encyclopaedia I have at home. Plus because I didn't have a printer last time I kept forcing my mum to help me print pictures of planets at her workplace. She will go like "what you want me to print? I don't know how to search la!". Then I will go "Aiya just go and search solar system then print the pictures that come out la! Please!" HAHAHAHA.

Anyway when I got older I liked chick lit and romance. Those girly kind of novels. And teen fiction. About school life and bitchy girls and etc. Liked them for awhile, and recently I suddenly got really sick of romance. I realised it's actually always the same old plot over and over again. Fantasy, sci-fi and adventure appeal to me more recently. Reading a story that is as far fetched from reality as possible makes one forget about real life for awhile I think.

Kept trying to motivate myself to do tutorials by chanting in my head "come on, you can do it. Come on." but after 5 seconds of shuffling some papers around I give up. I didn't even look one question and I gave up. Just the sight of tutorials make me lethargic.

Back to tumblr and youtube.

Took a nap this afternoon and dreamt of four moons.

Ok it's nothing really special, but I just felt like I should write it down so I won't forget it (and how it looks like).

Anyway the new blogger is weird.

I had this entire week of LIFE WITHOUT A JOB IS THE BEST KIND OF LIFE feels right after I quit work at Zouk and now it's all gone and I feel like looking for a job again. I can't understand myself.


I love lazing around! Lazing around is my life! But I think a small but sensible part of my brain is always there to jolt me into thinking "Rachel, you shouldn't be wasting your time like this, bumming around. Crawl out of your cave and go make some money." It just refuses to let me chill. But it actually seems like a good thing. Good brain, good brain. 


Eh. Anyhow, school's starting tomorrow and I probably won't even have the time to work. But what should I work as even if I want to get a new job though? For slightly over two years all my jobs involved waitressing and serving food and drinks of some sort. Never anything else. All F&B. That reminds me. I just got the biggest tip of my waitressing life last week! Someone actually gave me a 50 bucks tip. !!!!!!!!!!!! I can't keep it though, gotta put it in the tip box where the accumulated tips will be divided among everyone at the end of the month. HOWEVER, I have unfortunately already quit. So I don't get a single cent from that 50 bucks at all. Sigh. Never mind, I don't think I am very deserving of it anyway. Alright then I shall end abruptly here because I wanna go watch some videos. 

Just set my new timetable as my lock screen wallpaper and now I get a mini panic attack every time I pick up my phone. Torturing myself, that's what I am doing. SCHOOL SUCKS. I DON'T LIKE SCHOOL. WORK SUCKS TOO. I don't want to go to school yet I don't want to graduate. Don't know what I want la ccb

PS. I don't usually swear but the thought of school makes me angsty

Why can't I have supernatural powers?

Gahh I am so awkward around new friends everyone should just leave me alone and never talk to me

So many things have happened since my last post!
Got a new job, quit that new job.
People at that job were mostly great, but I quit because it wasn't really my kind of job I guess.
I sort of love the late hours though - work usually starts 9pm and ends around 4/5am - because I like taking the company van home in the wee hours of the morning and staring out of the windows at the empty streets and roads. It's kinda therapeutic.

Anyway, apparently my male colleagues at my workplace thinks I am manly (in both voice AND mannerisms) and are convinced I am lesbian.
Even after interrogation and clarifying that I am straight at least thrice I could tell they still believed I have found someone of the same sex sexually attractive before.
And when I commented that a female colleague is pretty one of my male colleagues actually gave me a suspicious look.
God help me I think I have completely lost whatever little feminine charms I used to possess.
Must be because all my female colleagues are so attractive and feminine I end up seeming like a man in comparison.

Brb changing my sex

Stuffing my face with tuna sandwiches and chocolates at this hour. I lasted from 12am till 4am without eating anything but gave in in the end :\

Once I start I will convince myself not to stop. It makes sense, since I started just go all the way right? That's why I am planning to open a bag of chips later too whee. I am such a bad influence to myself.

But who cares? Dead of the night + junk food + drama = Bliss 








Anw, I just found out a huge secret. A really huge one, the biggest of my life. It's drama worthy. I don't think I will ever let it out till the day I die. Not trying to act dramatic but it really is this huge. Completely stunned when ___ told me.

From the corner of my eye I thought I saw a red flash from my dead blackberry.
Stared at it hard for a few seconds but nope, no red flash again.
I didn't realise how much I missed seeing it!

Or maybe it's still alive and it is trying to send me a message??????
That I shouldn't have taken it off its life support???

Or maybe I am just becoming like one of those crazy cat ladies except I have no cats (though I would like to get one).

Did a banqueting job for the first time yesterday.
Omg! It made me realise how unfit I was. All the muscles I managed to build up (no matter how little) in secondary school had almost completely disappeared.

The runners (aka me and two other girls) had to carry uber huge trays of plates of food to the tables, and the waiters and waitresses waiting there will place the plates on the tables . The plates are those huge plates you see at wedding banquets. And each tray we carried had at least 3 or 4 plates.

The food isn't really heavy, but all that porcelain is. Damn the porcelain! Why are you so heavy?! I have decided I am going to serve everyone using disposable plates at my wedding.

What continuously ran through my mind while I was carrying those trays were "Fuck my life, fuck my life, fuck my life, why am I doing this, why am I doing this" or "You can do it, you can do it, you can do it, just a few more steps" and "hands, please don't give way, please don't drop the plates, please, please, please". I was just chanting these over and over in my head to distract myself from the weight in my hands.

Woah. I think my mind helped me more than anything. I was so close to dropping my load a few times but luckily I didn't drop any.

I didn't regret doing this job though anyway, because I got to see an awesome view of Singapore from 63 storeys up and at least I tried something new. Though I wished this something new wouldn't give me such horrible muscle aches the next day bleargh

2 March 2012

Had steak, escargots, garlic bread and ramen with scallops all on the same day. No relevance to whoever is reading this but I just wanna write this down so I won't forget this one glorious day of my existence. Bless my life!

I think the holidays are turning me into a more positive person. I am now happy 75% of the time, compared to probably 45% before holidays. The remaining percentage doesn't fully represent unhappiness, because I don't have anything to be unhappy about either. It represents more of times when I am feeling neutral. Like when I am taking a dump. Or when I am not thinking of anything particularly happy. Or when I am not thinking anything at all. Or blah blah why am I talking so much

One more thing to note down

11 Feb 2012

Took off the top row of my braces. I am now completely braces free! Still, the retainers are a pain though..

Edit:
I realised I didn't blog anything at all during Feb. SHIT! This is the first time I skipped a whole month! My OCD refuses to let my archives sidebar be missing a month. This is unacceptable. Maybe I shall change the date of my com and fake a February post when I am not feeling lazy. And yes this is how hung up I can get over my archives missing a "February" header.

New watch

I bought a new watch today by the way! (Sorry, once I start posting I can't stop)
Wheehee!
I saw it on tumblr yesterday and got it today.
It's this one!
http://www.kennethcole.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12006600

Pretty isn't it?
It doesn't look that nice on the website, but it looked drool worthy here so I fell in love
|
|
v

cr: ontheracks.com

Here's another picture of it, from www.lovemaegan.com


BAHAHA I can't stop staring at it, it's beside my lappy now.
New things make me happy!

I lost my ezlink card on thurs! Thursday sucked, I was on my way to school at 12 before I got news that French class is cancelled, so I got off the bus and 15 mins later I realised my card is missing. :( Then I went home, and had to return to school at 6 pm for Jap speaking test. Sucky day, though the speaking test went okay. I love Tomoko sensei, I've never had a teacher as encouraging as her! Even though I know my Japanese isn't the best, she kept saying she can see that I've worked hard and that I am improving with every assignment I hand in. I did average on my test but she made it sound like I wrote an awesome essay for the essay portion of the test. (I only wrote 11 simple sentences by the way, not impressive)

This is my third time losing my ezlink card anyway. I've also lost my wallet three times before. Forever losing things, I'm a loser. I lost my hair wax and lip balm in Korea, and now I think my new lip balm got lost again.

Urgh, losing ezlink card is really troublesome, I had to call SBS (in case I dropped it on the bus), then call Transitlink, then call the National Library to make sure no one can borrow stuff using that card. Plus I lost my NP student card together with my ezlink card too. Argh, troublesome, troublesome. Someone help me settle all these please! Mom!

I used to be excited about graduating from poly (or from school life altogether) but now that I am nearing year 3, my last year in NP, I feel a little afraid. What will my life be like after school?
I once read a report about China undergrads who are afraid to graduate and tried to study for as long as they can because they are worried they won't be able to find jobs after graduation. I think I am starting to feel like how they feel, but for different reasons though. I am not afraid of not finding a job, I am just afraid adult/working life will disappoint me. I have a feeling it won't be as fantastic as I thought when I was younger. Maybe the solution is to study for as long as I can too?

Ahh I am living in the future now. Too much anxiety. Sometimes I live too much in the past and sometimes I live too much in the future. I should learn to start living in the present.

All the best!

Running Man

I prefer the early episodes of Running Man because:
1) Hide and seek! Hide and seek is always exciting, I miss playing hide and seek
2) They keep adding the Inception soundtrack into the show, love it. HAHA


Edit:
I realised I keep talking about Inception. In fact, just two posts down I wrote about Inception and now I am writing about it again. I swear none of my posts will contain the word "Inception" for the next 3 months.

Omg I just knew that we had to give a speech in Japanese at the end of the Intermediate Japanese 202 class.
Me? Give a speech in Japanese? Oh god. It's a speech CONTEST no less and there are 40 Japanese high school guests who are judging. Screw my life

Edith Piaf - Non, je ne regrette rien (Officiel) [Live Version]

Now I want to watch Inception again. I would do that, but TIME. THERE IS NO TIME, THERE'S ALWAYS NO TIME I DON'T KNOW HOW I BECAME THIS GREAT AT PROCRASTINATING.


Anyway, I am very fascinated by the conductor of the orchestra at the beginning of the video. Cool job he has.

Today I realised I find light green coloured food really appealing. I think it's because light green coloured food are usually green tea or pandan flavoured, and both flavours are delish (to me). No wonder I love drinking out of my new light green bottle so much.

Whoopee I discover something new about myself everyday. Do I sound too much like I find myself really interesting? HAHA.

I had a fever since this morning/yesterday night because of golf yesterday (the sun's horrible) and I am only in the mood to blog now because I just had panadol. Panadol is a life saviour! This morning I woke up feeling like death so I took a pill before I went out this afternoon (had to go for my dental appointment, don't want to reschedule or it will be March before I can take off my braces) and felt fine all the way to evening. Then the effect of the pill wore off and I felt dead again, so I took another pill just now and now I am revived. I have a feeling I will need to take another one next morning though. I am trying not to take too much panadol because I don't want my body to develop a resistance to it, but I always succumb especially when I have a fever or during my period. Both are horrifying. Terrifying.

I think I should stop. One long paragraph about my fever and panadol. Boring!

This is the 151st post. This blog is now in its second year, though technically it was started 2 years ago.
WHOOO!!! /fireworks
This is a pretty nice place to talk to myself and post shallow stuff my brain sometimes generates.

I actually have another blog (think I mentioned this before though..) that I maintained and updated from year 2006 to 2009 but it is now locked for good because it's too embarrassing.
Even I myself don't dare to read what I wrote.
It's full of "mi", "lolz" and etc ewwwwwww
I am having goosebumps in real life.
I can't bear to delete it but I can't stand to read it either.
But NO ONE ELSE can ever see it.
HAHA
Or maybe one day I'll unlock it for fun and create another persona for it.
LOLZZZZ I LUV MI BLOG

Just ate 7 rolls of love letters and now I just took out 7 more to eat.
MMMmmmmMMMmmmmmmmmmm
Can's stop eating.
I think I can finish a whole container in a day though I haven't tried it before.
Can't wait to eat pineapple tarts next!

Now that I am no longer a kid, I love CNY more for the food only.
Anyway, happy new year!!!!